Started to train

September 2009 I started to get things together to make these changes. As I live and work 20min drive from the city, and having commitments at home, the best thing was to buy some equipment for home and train when I had free time. As it worked out I train at 12am at night, after we put the kids down and after a couple of hours work.

I did allot of research online with weight loss programmes, and the best I found for me at this stage was the BODY FOR LIFE program. I studied up on what was needed, the training, the diet, and also the motivational side of things. I needed to awaken the muscles which had lay dormant for 4 years, and get my fitness up and drop body fat all at once. Quite a bullshit order for someone who runs out of breath looking at stairs.

I went to the Dr. in December 2009 and she compared my weight to my last visit. Now, in order for the Dr. to take my weight she has to use 2 sets of scales (one for each foot FFS!) she said I had lost 5kg and 4cm around the waist. Now that didn't seem like allot, but I know that the scales are pretty shit when it comes to this sort of training as I am gaining muscle at the same time. The best thing was the visual difference I could see in the mirror. My shoulders and chest were really making progress, but there was still this gross mid-section hanging over. grroooottttt.

The plan was to train till Christmas, have a break (still human here) then start back in the new year - FULL FORCE!

Christmas came, and I ate... but this time there was a new voice in my head which kept me in check most of the time. Whereas I used to just eat, eat till I felt uncomfortable, you know, that Christmas dinner type of eating, where you stuff your face till you feel uncomfortable sitting, let alone standing! that "I gotta lye down now" type of eating. I was actually looking forward to starting back into the program. ROLL ON 2010!

Here is the picture that freaked me out

I was looking through some of our photos of our kids, and came across one of me that my partner had taken. My huge frame got in the way of a shot of our kids on some push bikes at the party.

When I saw this my heart just sank. How could I let myself go like this???? What sort of example am I setting for our children! I had lost my way.

Over the next few months things got worse, my company was really feeling the pinch of the recession so I was working longer hours to make ends meet, eating fast food and doing no physical activity trying to keep from sinking. And this was spilling over into my family life. I couldn't think straight, I was having anxiety attacks and having trouble breathing. I was not at all in touch with me and who I was, it was all about working and being a dad. Don't get me wrong... there is nothing wrong with learning to be a dad, but I had forgotten about me.